


We Can Be Crazy And Know Love

by son_of_a_bitch_spn_family



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas loves bees, Crazy Castiel, Dean loves his Baby, M/M, They found love in a hopeless place, Yellow Fevor Dean, best brothers, its cute, its fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family
Summary: Never taking his eyes off Cas, he whispered softly, “We're different, and we have fucked up heads, but we know love.”





	We Can Be Crazy And Know Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VintageVulpes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageVulpes/gifts).



> This is a crazy!Cas and YellowFevor!Dean love story, k? 
> 
> No, seriously... It is. 
> 
> The lovely VintageVulpes commissioned it from me, and I provided (hopefully). 
> 
> So enjoy and don't hesitate to drop some comments and leave some kudos! Thank you all so much! 
> 
> -SOBS
> 
> UPDATE: The amazing, wonderful https://zelirocks.tumblr.com/ got inspiration from this fic and made art for it! I'm in love, and I know everyone will be as well! Go show her some love!!!

The plastic lunch tray clattered against the table sharply, and the noise echoed around the room. Most people didn't mind it, and in fact, they ignored it. Dean, however, was clenching the curves on his round table to keep his heart from bursting from his chest.

 

“Dean,” Cas whispered softly, “it's alright.”

 

Dean turned wide eyes to Cas and stared into those deep, slightly foggy blue eyes until he could regulate his breathing. Once his heart no longer attacked his chest cavity, Dean slinked lower in his seat, his face falling.

 

“I hate this,” he mumbled.

 

“No tantrums,” Cas warned, swallowing thickly. He didn't like conflict.

 

“No,” Dean agreed, picking at his soggy sweet potato fries.

 

“Visiting day,” Cas announced happily, slipping Dean the food off his plate when the counselors weren't looking. “Gabriel and Sam are visiting us today. They promised us something fun this week.”

 

Perking up slightly, Dean started munching on his fries. Through a mouthful, he chuckled and said, “Yeah, Sammy better deliver.”

 

“Lunch is almost over everyone,” Sherri called out, walking around in her scrubs and wearing a gentle smile.

 

Dean panicked, eyeing his plate with utter terror. If he didn't finish his food, they'd assume he was trying to starve himself. They'd subject him to more meds and force him into even more therapy. They might even take away his visitation days, meaning no more Sammy. He was comfortable how he was, with Cas, with his gentle eyes and slightly wicked smile.

 

“Ah, food,” Cas muttered grimly. “Such a sustenance that can fall wildly between helping or harming. Help or harm, help or harm. Why not just one? Monkeys never have this issue, you know.”

 

Dean started shoving the tasteless food in his mouth, ignoring Cas’ random tirade. The urge to continue in his comfortable routine had him filling his mouth until he could barely swallow. The food started disappearing, and he went quicker. A particular glob of food got stuck against the back of his throat, barely sliding down, and Dean started freaking out.

 

He went to beating on his chest, eyes going wide as he rocked back and forth. Panic attacked him, and Dean was absolutely sure he was going to die; right there, right then. He could feel his life slipping away and realized that even food from a mental institution couldn't be trusted with him.

 

“Dean,” Cas murmured, holding out his juice with a comforting smile, “it's okay; you're okay. Just drink this.”

 

Dean scrambled to drink his juice, wide eyes watching Cas over his carton. As soon as proper air washed into his throat, Dean curled in on himself and tried to stop trembling. A panic attack lapped against the edges of his mind, threatening to take over, and Cas simply smiled at him until it went away.

 

“Thank you,” Dean said.

 

“Like thanksgiving,” Cas replied for seemingly no reason at all. “Where's my turkey?”

 

“I'm not sure, Cas,” Dean mused, smiling gently when Cas frowned.

 

Sherri swept by their table, winking at them as she did. Dean winked back, and Cas stared wistfully at the little bees on her scrubs.

 

“Alright everyone, lunchtime is over! Time for visitation. Line up at the door. As usual, even if it's not family, we have volunteers waiting to talk to you so everyone gets a visit.”

 

Grinning at each other, Cas and Dean scrambled from their seats. They walked side by side, ignoring the rule for a line, and beat everyone to the front. Not that there was much excitement in a mental institution, but still. Dean didn't look back, sure that something would frighten him - and that frightened him - but Cas was rambling about the importance of bees to distract him.

 

The visiting room was open and light. Despite its pleasant feel, the room always smelt sterile and metallic. Dean would hate it if it weren't where he got to see Sam every week.

 

As they entered, Sam and Gabriel stood up from the table with large smiles. Dean and Cas broke from each other, as rare as that was, and went to grip their respective brother in a tight hug. Well, Sam never hugged _too_ tight because small spaces freaked Dean out, but the sentiment was there.

 

“Jesus, Dean,” Sam laughed softly into his ear, a smile curling against the shell of it, “I have so much to tell you, man.”

 

“Me too,” Dean replied.

 

It wasn't true. Dean lived in a mental institution; there wasn't much that went on, but he always found something to say. Sam pulled away with a smile, brown eyes light and soft. It was yet another comfort in Dean's terrifying world. Beside them, Cas and Gabriel were parting, and Gabriel was nodding to whatever excited ramblings Cas was on.

 

“So… how have you kiddos been doing this week?” Gabriel asked as they all found their chairs. Cas shifted back and forth in his chair, swatting at something that wasn't there, and Dean reached out to grab his hand. Cas blinked at him and smiled softly.

 

“Pretty good,” Dean answered, watching Cas’ face as he spoke. There was something more peaceful in the lines of his face than the rest of the room. “We watched movies all day yesterday because the doctor was out. It was nice, but Cas didn't like the orca documentary.”

 

“Why aren't they free?” Cas burst out, shifting restlessly in his seat. “Why, Gabriel? Sam, they were in water cages! Cages like the world around us. Why aren't _we_ free?”

 

“Hey, hey,” Sam murmured gently, reaching out to press his palm to Cas’ wrist, “it's okay, Cas. Freedom is a state of mind.”

 

“It's not, it's not, _it's not,_ ” Cas whimpered, shaking his head back and forth. Before anyone could get truly worried, Cas shot up and blinked, eyes going sharp for a second as he looked around. “Did you save the bees, Gabriel? You have to save the bees.”

 

“We did,” Gabriel promised, grinning at Sam playfully. “As a matter of fact-”

 

“Y'all are fucking,” Dean announced, the realization cutting through the air.

 

Gabriel froze from where he was reaching down beside him, and Sam choked on the air he was breathing in. Dean watched them, suddenly unafraid. Cas chose that exact moment to come back to earth and stare at his brother and Sam curiously.

 

“Um,” Sam muttered, face blank.

 

“Are you in love?” Cas asked, holding his and Dean's intertwined hands up. “Like us?”

 

“You two are in love, huh?” Gabriel challenged, arching an eyebrow.

 

“For years,” Cas answered without a beat.

 

“Dean?” Sam asked, both eyebrows getting acquainted with his hairline.

 

Dean stared defiantly back. He was aware of what he and Cas had going on. They made things better for the other. In their moments of clarity - if they aligned - they would find little moments to swap physical affection. A kiss in the corners of the dark hallways when the twisted shapes of the shadows didn't worry Dean because he had Cas’ lips against his. A cuddle in the dredges of the night when they would sneak away to rest with the other, forcing the nightmares away with the gentle press of the other's skin.

 

He knew, but he never said.

 

Was it love?

 

Looking at Cas, with his foggy blue eyes, chapped lips that often spoke nonsense, soft hands that never striked fear in Dean's heart… it sure felt like love. He looked at Cas then, taking in his peaceful demeanor. He'd seen him at his worst, at his most terrifying, but he hadn't been afraid. To Dean, that was the best thing he had in his life.

 

Never taking his eyes off Cas, he whispered softly, “We're different, and we have fucked up heads, but we know love.”

 

“Love knows us,” Cas corrected, smiling a gummy smile that made Dean's heart skip a beat in the least terrifying way.

 

“I'm glad y'all have each other,” Sam hummed, a smile gracing his face when Dean dared to look. “Just so happens, love knows us too.”

 

“Right!” Gabriel exclaimed, eyes soft as they slid from Sam's face. “Love everywhere, and the world is awesome. But… I want to show you what I brought, Cas!”

 

“I will tolerate it,” Cas said, which meant he was beside himself with excitement.

 

“I brought you something too, Dean,” Sam told him quietly, clearing his throat. Gabriel fumbled around in a bag by his feet, but Sam simply reached in his pocket. “I know you miss Baby, so I went out and got you a miniature model. I know I can't take you to her right now, but I figured I could bring her to you.”

 

A sleek miniature ‘67 Chevy Impala sat prettily on the tabletop, and Dean gazed at her in awe. It was Baby, it was _his Baby._ He curled his shaking hand around her, gently stroking her, and he fought the tears pricking at his eyes. A watered down image of his father telling him it wasn't okay to cry pressed at the back of his eyes, and Dean swallowed around the lump in his throat. Head snapping up, Dean gaped at Sam in pure gratefulness.

 

“I love it,” Dean whispered. “Thank you.”

 

The last two words were weighted. Dean could never thank Sam enough for everything he'd done - was doing - and he doubted Sam would ever blink twice at it. Sam smiled, looking pleased that his gift went over well, and went to reply. Before he could, Cas let out a pretty peal of laughter that grabbed Dean's immediate attention.

 

“ _Gabriel,_ ” Cas gasped, clutching the stuffed bee to his chest, “you saved the bees!”

 

“Sure did, bro,” Gabriel chuckled, face stuck between somewhere soft and melancholic as he watched Cas stroke the bee. “Saved ‘em just for you, and brought the best one here.”

 

“Was he injured?” Cas asked in genuine concern, and Dean peered at the bee closely.

 

“No,” Gabriel said quickly.

 

“He looks happy to be with you, Cas,” Dean murmured gently, eyes soft upon Cas’ face.

 

“He's ours, Dean,” Cas insisted, leaning into Dean's side. “We have to keep him safe.”

 

“Of course,” Dean assured him, nodding seriously. “Anything for you.”

 

“Visitation is over!” Sherri called out, and Dean was struck with a pang of sadness.

 

People around them started shuffling, and a few even cried. Dean looked down, worry clawing at him. What if this was the last time he got to see Sam and even Gabriel? What if something terrible happened to them on the way back? What if…

 

“Dean,” Sam said cautiously, aware that this was the worst part for Dean. He stood up and grabbed Dean from his chair, guiding him into a gentle hug, “we always come back, don't we? We _will_ see you both next week, okay?”

 

Dean closed his eyes, pressing his forehead into Sam's collarbone. He tried to whip his mind into shape, forcing the panic and paranoia from his mind. A soft yet sturdy hand pressed into his back, sweeping down soothingly, and Dean just knew it was Cas.

 

“Okay,” Dean murmured, nodding as he and Sam broke apart. “ _Okay._ ”

 

“See you next week, baby bro,” Gabriel was telling Cas, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his hair. It was a comical sight because Cas had to swoop down so Gabriel could reach.

 

“Keep saving the bees,” Cas said, which meant _I'll miss you, please be safe._

 

“You got it,” Gabriel promised weakly.

 

Dean and Cas stood together, their hands intertwined as their brothers left the room. Dean held his miniature Baby in his free hand, and Cas curled his bee close to his chest with his. Linked that way, Dean wondered why he was ever scared of anything at all.

 

Blinking slowly, Dean looked over to Cas. Clarity sat between them for one brief second, and they both took that moment to smile. If nothing else, they had each other. They kept each other sane, helped each other stay safe and sure and loved.

 

And that's all that mattered.

 


End file.
